So Very Human

I always forget how therapeutic it is to write when my thoughts are racing through my mind a mile a minute.  I have to get up early and I can’t seem to settle myself.  Falling asleep proves to be a difficult task for me to achieve.

It’s just so hard for me to let go of my mistakes… even when I’ve corrected them.  Even when they didn’t have any major impact on others.  Even when I have the forgiveness of those it affects.  Why is that?!  Why is it that I am my worst critic?  Why is it so hard for me to let go of mistakes and mishaps?   Why is it so hard to accept the forgiveness of others?  Why is it so difficult for me to lay the day at rest and chose to look forward to another day?

I’m the only one that’s binding myself up with ropes of stress and anxiety.  I know for a fact that I focus on my faults and I blow them out of proportion.

I magnify them.  I place such an importance on anxiety and I give it so much more attention than it deserves.

How very very human of me.

Jesus should be the One that’s magnified.  I know I haven’t written anything about Him in a very long time.  I’m been thinking and searching and wondering and seeking and asking for a while about who God is and wanting learn more about Him.  It’s been a journey and it always will be.

As it should.

Jesus is to be magnified above my own insecurities, my stress, my mistakes, my faults, my weakness, my sinfulness, and any other traits that make me so very human.  It’s unfair for me to place something so small and insignificant above Someone so much greater and more powerful.

I have to practice, turning my eyes away from myself and focus on Him.  If I want perfection, I need to practice focusing on the One who is perfect.  If I want to be forgiven, I need to practice asking the One who can forgive.  If I truly want to be free from from the weariness of the day, then I have to seek out the One who gives freedom.

Jesus.  The answer is so simple.

Jesus should be magnified.

Not me and my humanness…. that would only continue to weigh me down and make my heart even heavier.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

“O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conqu’rors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!”

Those are my stray thoughts for the day.  I know I’m not the only one who struggles with being a broken human in a world that demands perfection.

Goodnight, World.

Retro Earwarmer – FREE Crochet Pattern

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EAR BAND

ch 5
(increase)
Row 1: sc across starting in 2nd ch, 2 sc in last ch (5 sc total), chain 1, turn
Row 2: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (6 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 3: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (7 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 4: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (8 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 5: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (9 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 6: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (10 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 7: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (11 sc total), ch 1, turn

(band)
Rows 8-35: sc crochet in each chain, chain 1, turn (The amount of rows can be increased or decreased to your liking.

(decrease)
Row 36: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (10 sc total)
Row 37: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (9 sc total)
row 38: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (8 sc total)
Row 39: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (7 sc total)
Row 40: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (6 sc total)
Row 41: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (5 sc total)
Row 42: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (4 sc total)

Put it together :-)
Line up the ends of your earband, sc across the top in order to sew them together.

RETRO FLOWER

I play this one by ear. so, instructions are general and adjustable.

ch 8
Round 1: dc as many dc’s as possible without over crowding or causing the circle to bend/wave, sl st in 1st dc, ch 2
Round 2: dc in every st, sl st in 1st dc of that round
Round 3: dc in every other st, sl st in 1st dc of that round

BAM! Retro ;-)

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Change is One Thing We Can Rely On

Change.  It’s the one thing that we all have in common.  It’s the very thing that either pulls us together, or tears us apart.

Change is inevitable and uncontrollable.  The only thing we can do is secure any loose items, hang on to the handle bars, and remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop… or slows down enough for you to tuck and roll and get the hell out of there!  Either way, it’s usually better to adapt to change than to try to stop it.  Trying to stop it would be like trying to paddle a raft up stream on the Amazon River.  It’s just not going to happen.  You’re arms will cramp up and you’ll probably get eaten by snakes and piranhas in the process.  Not a great plan of action…. not to mention very messy.

Change brings ups and downs and both are necessary.  You can’t go way up high without experiencing the lows…. and what go up, must come down.

Mid 2014 to mid 2016 was on the low end for me.  I was living in Georgia at the time.  In the two years I lived there I had three different jobs, three different apartments, I went into debt, drained my savings, and was battling with myself about whether I was doing what I was made to do in life.

Gosh.  It was a tough two years.  I did a lot of growing.  I think my skin got a little tougher, maybe with a few new wrinkles.  I got a little smarter and a little wiser.  I made some great friends, but I probably made some great enemies.  Yes, there were a few highlights and a handful of people I met in GA that I still hold dear to my heart.  I also met my boyfriend while I was in GA.  He is one of the silver linings.  Though those two years were my lowest of lows, they propelled me into the beginning of a major upswing.

I moved to Illinois back in May.    At that point, my life was not secured, I wasn’t hanging on, nor was I sitting down and I was thrown for a loop!  I’m just now getting myself together.  I’m finding a routine in my new environment, the dust is settling, and I finally bought a hair brush.  I mean, if my life can’t be tamed, at least my hair will be!

I keep wanting to find a comfortable groove, but I keep wondering if that is what change is really about?  If it propels us into greater versions of ourselves, then is finding a comfort zone a smart move?  I think welcoming change and the challenges it brings… good or bad… is SO vital.

Life isn’t about becoming comfortable with what changes may come, but becoming comfortable with change itself.

FREE Crochet Pattern: Flower Ear Warmer

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This is the pattern I created back in 2008 when I first started selling my little creations.  This is a SUPER basic pattern, very easy, and super quick!  If it’s not quick enough for you or you lack the skills, you can purchase a little something from my Etsy shop.

Remember, this is a free pattern for you to use personally and to give away as gifts and/or charity.   Don’t be a meany by using my pattern to make money :-(

Supplies need: crochet hook size H/8 – 5.00MM; two skeins of yarn of the color(s) of your choice.  For this tutorial, I used Desert Glaze by “I Love this Yarn.”

Techniques needed – single crochet (sc), increase and decrease stitches.  I use a different decrease technique for this pattern that will be in the instructions below.

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Free Crochet Ear Warmer

CH 5
ROW 1:  sk first ch; sc in each ch (total of 4 stitches); ch 1
ROW 2: sc in each st; increase 1 (this means you add a second sc in the last st); (total of 5 stitches)
ROW 3: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 6 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 4: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 7 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 5: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 8 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 6: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 9 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 7: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 10 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 8: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 11 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROWS 9-34: sc in each st (total of 11 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 35 (begin decrease):  sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 10 stiches); ch 1; turn
ROW 36: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 9 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 37: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 8 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 38: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 7 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 39: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 6 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 40: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 5 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 41:  sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 4 stitches); ch 1; turn

FINISH IT OFF: Put your two ends together and sew it up!  I match my ends and use a single crochet stitch to secure the ends together.

Now stick it on your head or give it away to your friend!