So Very Human

I always forget how therapeutic it is to write when my thoughts are racing through my mind a mile a minute.  I have to get up early and I can’t seem to settle myself.  Falling asleep proves to be a difficult task for me to achieve.

It’s just so hard for me to let go of my mistakes… even when I’ve corrected them.  Even when they didn’t have any major impact on others.  Even when I have the forgiveness of those it affects.  Why is that?!  Why is it that I am my worst critic?  Why is it so hard for me to let go of mistakes and mishaps?   Why is it so hard to accept the forgiveness of others?  Why is it so difficult for me to lay the day at rest and chose to look forward to another day?

I’m the only one that’s binding myself up with ropes of stress and anxiety.  I know for a fact that I focus on my faults and I blow them out of proportion.

I magnify them.  I place such an importance on anxiety and I give it so much more attention than it deserves.

How very very human of me.

Jesus should be the One that’s magnified.  I know I haven’t written anything about Him in a very long time.  I’m been thinking and searching and wondering and seeking and asking for a while about who God is and wanting learn more about Him.  It’s been a journey and it always will be.

As it should.

Jesus is to be magnified above my own insecurities, my stress, my mistakes, my faults, my weakness, my sinfulness, and any other traits that make me so very human.  It’s unfair for me to place something so small and insignificant above Someone so much greater and more powerful.

I have to practice, turning my eyes away from myself and focus on Him.  If I want perfection, I need to practice focusing on the One who is perfect.  If I want to be forgiven, I need to practice asking the One who can forgive.  If I truly want to be free from from the weariness of the day, then I have to seek out the One who gives freedom.

Jesus.  The answer is so simple.

Jesus should be magnified.

Not me and my humanness…. that would only continue to weigh me down and make my heart even heavier.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

“O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conqu’rors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!”

Those are my stray thoughts for the day.  I know I’m not the only one who struggles with being a broken human in a world that demands perfection.

Goodnight, World.

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