Thoughts

My Mom

One of my first memories of my mom was when I was around ten, maybe eleven.  It was Christmas time.  I heard a knock on the door and I ran to greet our visitors.  I opened the door and there were two women standing there with gifts in hand.  Lisa and another family friend of ours.

“Merry Christmas!”  They sang out.

Lisa handed me a rectangular box wrapped up in shiny paper.  I remember wondering why she got me a Christmas present.  Who was she?  I didn’t get her anything.  I wasn’t quite sure what to make of her.

A few years later, Lisa became a more active roll in my life.  I remember when I was around 12 years old, she took me and her boys to the movies.  I can’t remember what we saw or where we went to eat, but I remember feeling special and loved that she would think to invite me to hang out.

A few years after that, I was 14 or 15 and I had a slight pretty big attitude problem…. that was probably fueled by a little bit of anger.  There was a lot going on my household no kid should ever have to face.  That’s when Lisa swooped in.  I don’t remember where we went, if it was a restaurant, a park, or just sitting in her car.  All I remember, is that she gave me a journal.  She told me it was called an Angry Journal.  She explained that any time I felt angry or upset, write it down.  Write what I’m feeling.  Use whatever words I need to use to get it out on paper.  That was probably the first time anyone had given me permission to write whatever and however I wanted.  I remember feeling empowered that day.  She gave me the gift of a healthy outlet to express myself.

A few years after that, I moved to Virginia for college.  At this point, my parents had divorced and Dad moved to D.C. to be with Happily Ever After person…. which happened to be Lisa.  I used to go up and visit them when I lived in Lynchburg.  I remember thinking, at first, “This is a little weird, not bad, just weird.”  But changes are always weird and uncomfortable.

A few years after that, I was about 20, maybe 21, I went up to visit Dad and Lisa.  We went to Baltimore for some reason.  There was a restaurant that they wanted to take me to and it was a part of a plaza with a bunch of other stores.  Lisa decided we should visit some of those stores while we wait to be seated.  By “we” she meant me just her and me.  We left dad waiting with the restaurant buzzer.  We went from store to store, talking, and laughing.  She wound up buying me two sun dresses at a really cute little boutique.  I remember thinking, “Is this what it’s like to go shopping with your mom?”

A few years after that, I was 25 years old.  I was standing outside of a hospital in D.C., crying uncontrollably and tightly holding on to Lisa.  Dad was gone.  The cancer had invaded too much of body.  I remember hanging onto her and feeling her arms tighten around me.  There were too many thoughts rushing though my head to remember any specific one.  However, even though I had just lost my dad… I don’t remember feeling alone.

I had my mom.

Mom is a special title.  It describes a woman who gives unconditional love, has an abundance of understanding, challenges herself and others to push forward despite circumstances, provides a safe space to come home to, and it describes a woman who lends a listening ear and a compassionate heart.

That’s my mom, Lisa.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Crochet Patterns

Retro Earwarmer – FREE Crochet Pattern

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EAR BAND

ch 5
(increase)
Row 1: sc across starting in 2nd ch, 2 sc in last ch (5 sc total), chain 1, turn
Row 2: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (6 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 3: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (7 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 4: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (8 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 5: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (9 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 6: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (10 sc total), ch 1, turn
Row 7: sc in each chain, 2 sc in the last chain (11 sc total), ch 1, turn

(band)
Rows 8-35: sc crochet in each chain, chain 1, turn (The amount of rows can be increased or decreased to your liking.

(decrease)
Row 36: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (10 sc total)
Row 37: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (9 sc total)
row 38: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (8 sc total)
Row 39: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (7 sc total)
Row 40: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (6 sc total)
Row 41: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (5 sc total)
Row 42: sc in every ch except the last ch, ch 1, turn (4 sc total)

Put it together :-)
Line up the ends of your earband, sc across the top in order to sew them together.

RETRO FLOWER

I play this one by ear. so, instructions are general and adjustable.

ch 8
Round 1: dc as many dc’s as possible without over crowding or causing the circle to bend/wave, sl st in 1st dc, ch 2
Round 2: dc in every st, sl st in 1st dc of that round
Round 3: dc in every other st, sl st in 1st dc of that round

BAM! Retro ;-)

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Thoughts

Change is One Thing We Can Rely On

Change.  It’s the one thing that we all have in common.  It’s the very thing that either pulls us together, or tears us apart.

Change is inevitable and uncontrollable.  The only thing we can do is secure any loose items, hang on to the handle bars, and remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop… or slows down enough for you to tuck and roll and get the hell out of there!  Either way, it’s usually better to adapt to change than to try to stop it.  Trying to stop it would be like trying to paddle a raft up stream on the Amazon River.  It’s just not going to happen.  You’re arms will cramp up and you’ll probably get eaten by snakes and piranhas in the process.  Not a great plan of action…. not to mention very messy.

Change brings ups and downs and both are necessary.  You can’t go way up high without experiencing the lows…. and what go up, must come down.

Mid 2014 to mid 2016 was on the low end for me.  I was living in Georgia at the time.  In the two years I lived there I had three different jobs, three different apartments, I went into debt, drained my savings, and was battling with myself about whether I was doing what I was made to do in life.

Gosh.  It was a tough two years.  I did a lot of growing.  I think my skin got a little tougher, maybe with a few new wrinkles.  I got a little smarter and a little wiser.  I made some great friends, but I probably made some great enemies.  Yes, there were a few highlights and a handful of people I met in GA that I still hold dear to my heart.  I also met my boyfriend while I was in GA.  He is one of the silver linings.  Though those two years were my lowest of lows, they propelled me into the beginning of a major upswing.

I moved to Illinois back in May.    At that point, my life was not secured, I wasn’t hanging on, nor was I sitting down and I was thrown for a loop!  I’m just now getting myself together.  I’m finding a routine in my new environment, the dust is settling, and I finally bought a hair brush.  I mean, if my life can’t be tamed, at least my hair will be!

I keep wanting to find a comfortable groove, but I keep wondering if that is what change is really about?  If it propels us into greater versions of ourselves, then is finding a comfort zone a smart move?  I think welcoming change and the challenges it brings… good or bad… is SO vital.

Life isn’t about becoming comfortable with what changes may come, but becoming comfortable with change itself.

How To

FREE Crochet Pattern: Flower Ear Warmer

This is the pattern I created back in 2008 when I first started selling my little creations.  This is a SUPER basic pattern, very easy, and super quick!  If it’s not quick enough for you or you lack the skills, you can purchase a little something from my Etsy shop.

Remember, this is a free pattern for you to use personally and to give away as gifts and/or charity.   Don’t be a meany by using my pattern to make money :-(

Supplies need: crochet hook size H/8 – 5.00MM; two skeins of yarn of the color(s) of your choice.  For this tutorial, I used Desert Glaze by “I Love this Yarn.”

Techniques needed – single crochet (sc), increase and decrease stitches.  I use a different decrease technique for this pattern that will be in the instructions below.

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Free Crochet Ear Warmer

CH 5
ROW 1:  sk first ch; sc in each ch (total of 4 stitches); ch 1
ROW 2: sc in each st; increase 1 (this means you add a second sc in the last st); (total of 5 stitches)
ROW 3: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 6 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 4: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 7 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 5: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 8 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 6: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 9 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 7: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 10 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 8: sc in each st; increase 1 (total of 11 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROWS 9-34: sc in each st (total of 11 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 35 (begin decrease):  sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 10 stiches); ch 1; turn
ROW 36: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 9 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 37: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 8 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 38: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 7 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 39: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 6 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 40: sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 5 stitches); ch 1; turn
ROW 41:  sk 1st st and sc in each stitch (total of 4 stitches); ch 1; turn

FINISH IT OFF: Put your two ends together and sew it up!  I match my ends and use a single crochet stitch to secure the ends together.

Now stick it on your head or give it away to your friend!